Monday, August 23, 2010


Please follow me at

SO MUCH...almost too much.

The computer is going to die.. I am going through some real strange things right now... I am having a complete OCD attack.
More later..

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Mother's of 2+ kids...

Please tell me your thoughts and opinions on when you decided to have baby #2... were you scared? Did you think.. how can I handle TWO kids.. what would you have done differently. What's easy.. what isn't easy..

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Oh...where to call home.

So.. as you all pretty much know..we are foreclosing on our house...or so we thought.
I got a call on Thursday from our bank.. that we haven't paid in 10 months! They decided they want us to stay in the house and are going to work with us to lower our monthly payment. I am kind of just laughing about the whole thing. We will stay in the house depending on how much they lower our monthly payment. We still owe on property taxes and our HOA, so they have to lower it enough for us to be able to afford to pay those two things.
I've just been praying about it and I know whatever is the best for us.. it will just work out.
I really do hope we can stay in the house for a few reasons..
Even though I hate living in Orcutt, and I hate not having a fenced in yard, and I hate pretty much the house.. it's still our first house, that we (kind of) own... I want to be able to fix it up 100% and then maybe in a few years.. try and rent it out and move to AG..?
I don't know.
Whatever is meant to be.... yeah.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

When is it right...

Oh how I miss this little tiny baby, who now is this big baby...

So when do you know when it is right to add another little person into this world? I wasn't all..but the past few days.. my mind is changing. I am ready to be pregnant again, and to go through a crazy 9 months.. all to have another amazing little child.
Watching August grow and learn has been amazing, I wouldn't change it for anything. But I feel like he's so independent and loves playing with other children, I want him to have a sibling to play with and be close in age.
I know our life is hectic right now, but in some degree it will always be hectic!

Friday, July 23, 2010

The outcast.

OVER IT...It's the phrase I'm going to use to describe how I feel about everything right now, other than August & Matt. I am kind of over everything.
I thought moving to California would be different....I thought it would let Matt and I get out and enjoy life. The weather is almost always perfect, don't have to worry about the snow or humidity.
But there's something I think I have come to realize.
I think that I had more fun in Illinois. We did WAY more things, and even though we have a child now, I know that we could do the same exact things we did then.
My biggest thing about moving to California was that I wanted the weather, and I wanted my friends.
But things aren't what they used to be.. everyone is changing, growing older, growing up, growing apart.
I had great friends in Illinois, yes we weren't childhood friends, I only knew them for 3 years, but they were still all awesome.

If Matt told me, pack up.. we are moving to Chicago, I would be happy. Yes, I would cry when we actually left, knowing that I wouldn't see my friends or their kids, and August wouldn't have grown up with all my friends kids..
But seriously, when do I see my friends anyway....sometimes only once a month!
I feel like I live in a different state.. and we are just 25 minutes away.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Friends: Melissa Haynie

Melissa Haynie: Would you believe that me and Wiss HATED each other when we first met. Crazy.. I know. But we have grown to love each other and even though sometimes we don't see eye to eye, we are like sisters. Wiss came to visit me in Chicago twice, and we had so much fun! I love Wiss. I love her family. Wiss is someone I would call if I wanted to play games, or go to the movies or dinner with. She will only talk about the 49ers when it comes to sports. Unless the World Cup or Olympics are on. She thinks baseball last year round and hates it. Although we did go to a Cubs game and it was like snowing! Wiss was my maid of honor in my wedding and I am so glad she was.
Me & Wiss became really close after I ran away from home and then came back to CA. We hung out EVERY DAY. And most of the time it was with Dillon (before he became too cool). Her dad once said I was a bad influence because I didn't finish school. HAHA. I wonder what Jim thinks now? I hope he doesn't think that! Amanda is like a mom to me. I love her.

And that is my story about Melissa Amber Haynie.

Friday, June 18, 2010


I could not sleep last night at all. I had to start counting because my mind was going everywhere. I am nervous because I'm looking at a house today that's right down the street! Instead of turning left on Foster, you would turn right and it's a house with a front and back yard! It is 3 bedrooms 1 bath, 2 car garage. The only down side it's right on foster, across from the high school. I am looking at it at 11:30. It's $1395, which is better than $1500!
I couldn't sleep last night because that is all i was thinking about. I'm scared that due to our recent history of what's been going on, we won't be able to rent, like no one will approve us. Danielle told me to stay positive. Which I am trying.
From the outside this house is really nice, but I have NO idea what the inside looks like, other than I know it has hardwood floors, which you can't really go wrong with! I am really excited to look at it, but I don't want to get my hopes up.. cause either a. i wont like it or b. we won't get approved.

also I have been thinking about all that's been happening lately. we have gone through SO much the past few months. i have been looking for jobs, but NO luck. shannon sent me information about jobs on the base.. i need to look into it.
I have been doing secret shopping the past two months. In May I made only $200, but so far in June I have made almost $300 plus a free oil change! I think if I can make at least $400-$500, then we will be fine until I can find a job. Thankfully I am still getting unemployment, but that will run out in either August or September.

Another thing that I'm thinking about is baby #2. We of course are not thinking about it happening any time soon. We aren't ready, and we don't have the money. But that worries me because I really don't want to wait until August is almost 3! I want them to be 2 1/2 years apart. Maybe we will start trying early next year?
Whatever.. I'm not planning on it anytime soon.
Alright thats all.
I'm going to post about August later! He's changed a lot! He is almost 30 pounds too! BIG boy!

Thursday, June 17, 2010


We are looking for a place to rent from Orcutt-5 cities. If you know of anything 2-3 bedrooms, NO MORE than $1500, please let me know! We will be moving around the first of August. THANKS!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


So I updated my resume.. I just need to send it to a place to hire me.
Matt's work is hiring for a 20 hour a week job in SLO. It only pays $10/hour but that company is AWESOME to work for. I would love to work for them...but it's in SLO. Matt used to drive 40-50 minutes to work when we lived in Chicago, so why can't I? The only thing is.. I would need to find a babysitter or day care to watch August for 4/5 hours during the morning, because the hours of this job are MORNINGS.
What should I do??? I really want to apply.. but I'm affraid if I DO get the job, what will I do with August?!
I need to find a job, a house to rent, and yeah.. Stressful.
I've already looked at 2 houses.. the first one HUGE backyard.. HUGE it was awesome. But the rooms were really small, the carpet was gross, one room had red carpet from the 70s! It had no dishwasher.. really outdated.
The other.. i walked in and it instantly smelt like smoke. the house was dirty.. but had nice size rooms and a decent kitchen.. it needed some TLC, which is fine but I don't know.. the smoke smell i dont think i would know what to do. The back yard was decent as well.. both great locations in Orcutt.
I want to move to AG but Matt wants to stay in SM since his work is right here.
Alrght, please give me some advice!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

I did it I did it.. I finally did it.

I finally ran in a 5k and I had a lot of fun, other than the freaking HEAT! I know that I would have done so much better if it wasn't so f'ing hot. I did 3.1 miles in 40.01 minutes. I was actually really bummed because I wanted to be closer to 30/35 minutes. I haven't ran in 4 weeks, which I think made it a little harder as well.
I am really glad I finished and that I did it mostly running by myself. It was really peaceful and I just really really loved it. I hope now I can get a better pace and run longer and faster and when I do another race I'll beat my time.
However, I do need to get some new running shoes! I'm thinking about getting the ones Erin has, I really like NBs and they aren't that expensive.
Alright I'm really tired because I didn't nap after the run and I was at up 6!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I don't know what to do...

I need help...we need help.
So the past few days August has been very difficult. He does not take a nap, he does not go to bed. He will be falling asleep in the living room but the second I put him in his crib he FREAKS out..screaming, kicking, spazzing out. I will let him cry for awhile and then when I got in there, he's jumping up and down in his bed, screaming. The past few nights Matt and I have had to rock him to sleep, but the second we put him down he screams. The past two nights we have had to lay him in bed with us, wait until he's asleep then move him into his bed. He was NEVER like this! It just started like a week or two ago. He used to be the easiest baby to put down for a nap or bedtime!
We are lost, we do not know what to do. Plus, he used to go to bed at 7 every night, but now it's like 8 or 9! I don't care if he stays up later, but I just don't get what is going on. I know that he has two bottom teeth coming in, one has already come through, the other is about ready too. Nothing soothes him though. It's really stressful and it's driving me and Matt crazy.
If anyone has a suggestion please do tell.
ALSO, he has been waking up really early! Using he sleeps 12 hours, 7-7..but since this craziness started he wakes up at 6-6:30! I am SO tired, that 30 minutes is killing me.
That's all!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

cough cough.. snot sneeze

I AM STILL SICK! I mean, I'm like 5% sick. But it's annoying. I have to blow my nose still all the time, so much snot! I just pray that I'm better by next weekend! I want to run in the Strawberry Stampede, I want to be able to have fun on Matt's birthday (it's his golden! 29 on the 29th!) and I want to finally get my mothers day tattoo!!

Monday, May 17, 2010


Everyone I know.... that has kids.. gets to watch their kids, or have their mom watch their kids.
I...will have to find a job soon, and we will have to put August in daycare. This is something that neither of us want to do, we are dreading the day it comes.
But I thought before I went and searched for the best daycare with spots open, I would ask any of my friends that would like to watch August a few days a week...with pay.
That's all the details for now.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Coupons & Savings

So I am going to become one of those crazy coupon shoppers. Today was a trial run, to see what I need to improve on.. and A LIST will be the first thing and second is to get my coupons organized!
Here is what I spent/bought & saved.
1. Target - They had a deal going if you buy 2 boxes of Huggies you get a $5 gift card.
I first bought those with 2 $3 coupons. So my total was $36.61 for 140 diapers. I got the $5 gift card and rung everything else up on a second transaction.

Most of the items I bought were cleaning items, cat & dog food, cat liter, wipes, bag of mixed chips (frito lay), and goldfish. (i forgot to give them the $1.00 coupon for the liter, it would have been only .77 cents!)
My total was $60.54 cents, used the $5.00 gift card, so it came out to $55.54.
I saved a total of $18.91.

Then I went to Fresh & Easy, which is located in Orcutt, and they are cheaper than Albertsons most of the time. I had a $3.00 off coupon of $30 a more.. so I went there to get what I knew was cheaper than Albertsons.. (they don't take manufactor coupons, which sucks because I didn't know until I went to check out, I would have saved an additional $2.00)
I saved $5.98, my total was $82.65.
I bought: oj, milk, cheese, vegis, ice cream, ziploc bags, muffins, meat, water, fruit, chicken broth, toilet paper, dressing, eggs...

Then Albertsons:
Cereal, vegis (what they didn't have at fresh and easy), deli lunch meat & cheese, gerber juice, white beans, bread, yogurt, charcoal, baby ibprofin, tylenol, and diet pepsi.
I spent $77.42.
I saved a total of $29.29.
Bonus Buy: $3.74
Preferred Savings: $21.06
MFG Coupon Savings: $4.49

I saved $60.18 + the $5.00 coupon.
Not bad!
Even though I spent about $250, what I bought will last for at least 2 weeks. I know I will get better at planning out my list and coupons, so this is just the beginning. Plus - Walgreens & CVS have really good deals, but I'm not that crazy yet!!!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


So I have to put my trust in the Lord, because I can't handle the stress I have been feeling lately. I have to trust that He will provide for us, and that He knows what is in store for us these next few months. I pray that we can get through all of these changing times. I am leaving it up to the Lord, because that's all I know how to do right now.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

balls to the wall

It's been awhile. Here's what's been going on:
August and I flew to Colorado on Tuesday, April 27 - our flight was from Santa Maria to LAX to Denver. August did AMAZING. Yes, he wasn't silent the whole time, but for 90% of the time he was. I am really glad that I flew with him for the first time, instead of me and Matt because Matt would have just made me more stressed out!
Anyway, the trip was wonderful. I really needed that time away and to be with my parents and brother, although I could have done without my brother a few times, he's got such a bad attitude!
I loved watching August interact with my parents and just see him light up every time my dad came in the room. He really did love playing with my dad and it was really funny.
I was able to visit Robyn, Corinne, and Maci while I was there. We all went to dinner at this place called HuHot, it's amazing!
Our flight back was ok. He got alittle crazy from Denver to LAX because it had been such a long day already! We had a 2 hour layover in LA and finally made it home around 7 pm on Monday, May 3.
Last week was crazy. Matt got really sick on Wednesday night, vomiting and diarrhea more than ever. Augie also threw up Wednesday night, that was not fun for me at all. Thursday and Friday Matt stayed home from work, and Friday I started feeling sick. I was trying to fight it, but it didn't work. I am now completely sick. Anyway, Mother's day was good, although we did NOTHING because we all still weren't 100%. Matt made me breakfast and it was really good. Then we took a nap and that was really nice.
Well it's now Tuesday, and I went to the doctor, my tonsils are medium size and red, Pat gave me a ZPACK which I LOVE because they always work. Although he said he doesn't know if it will this time.. ugh. Also, he told me I have a slim chance of doing that race on Saturday. He told me to just see how I feel and if I'm up to it, then do I'm praying these drugs work and I can do it!
That's all for now. Pray that I get better so I can run in my first 5k this Saturday!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I already miss my family.
Friends can't replace family.
I love my friends, but friends and family are different.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

It feels good..

to be back to running! I haven't really RAN in 2 weeks, I have done little short runs and then long walks. Today was a really good run for me, until James Way of course! I made it all the way to Mason without stopping, which is crazy. I pretty much walked up Mason, ran alittle of Tally Ho, walked most of James Way, a few sprints here and there, and then ran down James Way, ran half of rancho parkway. For the most part I feel that I did really good. My knee did not hurt at all, although my ankels hurt alittle bit.
My fastest pace at one point was 7.22, but that was probably going down hill, because my slowest was 18.00, hahahaha.
Anyway I feel that I have improved and if it wasn't for those hills I would have been able to have a better pace I feel like.
I hope to get in a few runs when I am in Colorado.. at least 2! But the air is so different up there.
Ok time for dinner!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


So I took a little break from running because my knee would hurt within the first 5 minutes. I started walking again though and my knee is feeling 100% better. I am really wanting to get out and run again but this stupid weather is holding me up. It's freezing cold, rainy and windy!
We are meeting Saturday for our Grrrls run, which I am really excited about, but I know it's going to be really hard for me since I haven't really RAN in almost 2 weeks. There is a few 5k-10k's that I want to do..
There is one on the 8th, Bull Run in Santa Maria which is a 10k, the only thing that freaks me out is I'll be in Colorado until that Monday, only giving me 4 days to really prepare myself for it.
Then there is the 5k that the Running Grrrls are all doing, which that will be fun and short and that's on the 15th in San Luis. And then there's the Strawberry Stampede that's on Sunday, May 30th! I for sure want to do that one.
Anyway.. my house smells really bad and I don't know what it is, and it's gross, I have the window open but it's really cold now!
Ok and goodbye.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Call me crazy... call me.. baby crazy..

So I am having baby fever. After seeing the cutest little girl ever yesterday at GAP, it made me want a baby...a baby girl!
Lately when I am in August's room I think about how cute it would be with a toddler bed for August on one side, and then his crib on the other side for a baby. Think I'm crazy yet? I'm not.. I just really know that I want the kids to be 2-2 1/2 years apart. And that I want a summer-early fall baby.
I'm crazy I know.. but whatever.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

please knees.

so if tomorrow the weather is good, i am going to run. i haven't ran since wednesday because my left knee has been hurting really bad and matt told me to rest alittle bit and then when i go back to running to only do it every other day. i have some tendinitis in my knee so thats why it hurt.
i had an amazing 3 days well 4 if you count today, but today wasn't as amazing. went to the beach, the zoo, and the aquarium! it was all so much fun. i hung out with danielle 4 days this week, which will probably never happen again because she goes back to school on tuesday and then ill never see her! (i had to take advantage of her being out of school for a week!)

oh and august LOVES gibby, he laughs every time she walks by him. it's so cute.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Happy Birthday Grandpa.. you would have been 74.

So in 1992, April 23rd, my grandpa died. He was only 56 years old. Yesterday Matt and I were trying to kill time so I said let's go find my grandpas grave. I didn't realize at the time that today is his birthday. After searching forever, I knew it was near a tree and on the left side.. I finally found his stone. I was on the phone with my mom and I was holding back tears. I think I am really emotional about it because my dad is now a grandpa and I just realize how much grandfathers mean to their grandchildren. I was never that close to my grandpa only because I was young and he was sick most of the time. My other grandpa was just never around. I want August to grow up with a good relationship with his grandpas (and grandmas of course).
That's all.
I love you grandpa.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

My poor knees

So I ran over 6 miles today. 4ish miles this morning and 2.5 this evening.
I am tired and my knees hurt really bad.
Easter is tomorrow!
I am going to try and get a run in before we go to church.
I'm out!

Thursday, March 25, 2010


So this morning I went for a run.
Here are my times:
(I walked up the hill, then started running right away, so I didn't time my's about 2 minutes though)
R: 15:35.6 (SAY WHAAAT)
W: 2:00.6
R: 2:02.8

I was hurting after the 15 minutes, so I stopped and walked, then run and it was killing me, so I walked again, but decided since the last portion of my run was slightly downhill, and by slightly, I mean really you can't tell.. I decided to run it. My total time was 27 minutes.
The 15 minutes, I ran 1.3 miles. I think it's easier for me to run by myself..I know weird right. Also I like straight paths, flat and easy for me.
I'm going to be sore!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Danielle Voegele - It's your birthday bitch!

Me & Danielle have been friends since junior high. I love her. She's like my sister, we bitch and fight but always come back to eachother! I feel special to have her in my life, she's an amazing lady and I can't wait to play bingo with her when we are 80!

-I am waiting for August to wake up from his 3 1/2 hour nap so we can go have lunch with her!!!!

Monday, March 22, 2010


I have had a really rough two weeks..going on three. It is really taking a toll on me, I thought the stress was gone, but with August being sick, then the whole cat issue, and just feeling like there is no end in sight for how I have been feeling, is just making things alot worse.
I need to see that there is going to be happiness again and that my stress will go away..
I just have breakdowns when small things happen, and I need to get a grip!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Run 3

Better day today.
So Matt went with me and I made him push August in the stroller because I wanted to see what I would do without it! So much easier!!
Walk: 5:19.2
Run: 10:02.1
Walk: 4:22.9
Run: 3:16.1
Walk: 0:18
Run: 2:50.0
Walk: :48.8
Run: 6:23.1

I did WAY more running this time! The walks were up hill, and then crossing the street. So I pretty much run almost the whole way! We went 33:20.5 minutes.
I hope tomorrow's run with the girls I will do better!
Now for a shower and college basketball and bbq hotdogs!

Friday, March 19, 2010

My Augie

So today I gave him whole milk instead of formula...and he liked it! I even ditched the bottle and gave it to him in a sippy cup. I am really proud of him.
He had a rough night last night. He woke up around 12 and couldn't go back to sleep. He came into our room and was just doing weird things and he kept pulling my hair and I swear he was asleep! He has a runny nose, cough and sneezing...I'm not sure what exactly is wrong, or if it's allergies or has to do with his teeth.
Today is Friday!
YES. Sunday is the next grrrls only run at the BJT!
Next week Matt's parents come into town and it's Augie's birthday party!!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Run Day 2

So today I didn't think I'd get out, but I decided I should even if it was just for alittle bit. So I ran for 20 minutes.. which is about 1.3 miles according to google maps.
These are my times:
walk: 5:49.3
run: 2:46.3
walk: 50.1
run: 2:35.8
walk: 2:18.9

I feel like it was a really good jog/walk. I came home sweating like crazy.
I hope that on Sunday I can run more than walk.
I know the motivation from other people will help alot, it's easier to quit running when you are by yourself.

One Year Ago...

So I remember exactly what I was doing at this time one year ago.. I was walking over to the emergency room from my doctors office. I was dilated at 4 and almost 90% effaced.
I remember seeing Maci Smith and I told her I was going into labor!
I remember being scared, excited, in pain, and excited!
I was HUGE and ready to have that baby out of me.
After a few hours and an epidural and then a few more hours.. and then the epidural wearing off and feeling everything again, it was time to push! I started pushing at 7:50 I think it was.. and then at 8:35 p.m. little cone head augie was born!
It was amazing and I will never forget it. I will never forget Wiss & Danielle being in the room while I pushed for the first time. And I will never forget my traveling nurse from Minnesota! I wanted her to talk in an accent.
I will never forget eating in n out after augie was born!
I can't believe it's been a year already.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Day 1

Today, I went out for a jog/walk.
I enjoyed the BOB stroller alot, just need to get used to running with a stroller! It's different, but I like it, so much smoother.
Anyway- I timed myself, walk vs run.

Walk: 4:49.0
Run: 1:52.1
Walk: 2:47.2
Run: 1:52.1
Walk: 3:17.5
Run: 1:42.6
Walk: 3:06.3
Run: 3:19.1
Walk: 16:08.0 (I walked, then went into Matt's work, stopped the timer of course, then walked up the hill)
Run: 5:24.6
Walk: 5:34.0
Run: 2:10.5
Walk: 1:39.5
Run: 3:06.4

Hopefully my running times will get better! But I feel really good. August ended up falling asleep in the stroller so when we got home I just kept him in it while I took a nice cold shower and got ready.
I have to go to Wal-Mart to get August a fan for his room, the one he had when he was a newborn took a crap a few months ago so I need to replace it. His room gets REALLY hot at night. Then off to Toys-R-Us to get some diapers (I've got coupons!) and maybe I'll pick up 1 toy for his birthday present.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

She's crafty...

So I guess I do have a crafty side to me. I saved money by NOT buying cute address labels, so I am making them. It's taking forever but I am having fun doing it. I have 55 to do and I have only done like 3 hours! I have taken breaks and done a few other things.. but whatever!
The hard part is cutting them out!!!
I was able to buy full sheets of sticky paper (label paper, but just a full sheet, no pre-cut labels!) I am really excited about it!
I also found some cool robot clip art that I was able to put on top of the address before the name.
I hope it looks cute with everything else.
I also am not stressing AS much since Matt's mom is coming out for the party! She's very crafty and did catering for awhile.. so she knows how to plan a party!
I can't believe that August is going to be 1 in 3 weeks.. and i really can't believe that Jackson Ralph is going to be 1 in 6 days!
time is going fast!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Kids Favors

Ok so I was going to do favors for the kids for August birthday party... but I have NO idea how many kids will be there. We are inviting cousins that have all together like 10 kids! Plus some of Matt's work people have kids and then all the group of kids!
Can I just have a table that is crayons and robot cut outs that they can color and lots of pinwheels they can take home, and candy bags if they want to take candy home (everyone really). Plus Matt's mom is making A shaped cookies that are in bags for everyone.
Is that ok?!??!
I don't want to leave someone out of a favor bag, I would feel worse than just not doing them and letting them take home the crafts they colored and then candy and cookies!
Ideas!!?!? Thoughts!?!?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

If you ever are bored...

you can always call me, because i'm sure to talk your ear off.

I'm on a blog rampage I guess.

So I am feeling like crap again today. I just need rest, and of course when you are at home with your children you can't do that! Matt is going to see if he can just work 1/2 day so I can get some really needed rest!
Right now I am just sitting in the rocking chair in August's room while he is moving around exploring everything he can get his hands on. He has started clanking he teeth together, I thought he had something in his mouth with the sound he was making, but really it's just his teeth. I wish he wouldn't do that, it's an awful sound and probably not good for him!
His sleeping pattern is changing too. He goes to bed around 7 and gets up around 7, but he doesn't take a morning nap that much anymore. If he does take a morning nap he won't take an afternoon nap and vice versa.
I gave him sausage on Saturday and he loved it! He also loves these POP BBQ Chips. They get spicy, but he loves them! I weighed him the other day and he was 27 pounds, I think he has gotten taller the past 2 months too. He pretty much is in size 24 months, even though we only have 18 months, it's all getting real small on him. His shoe size is about 4 1/2, I think all around he's just a giant baby, but in 23 days he will be a giant ONE year old, which I can't gasp the reality on that one.
I really don't think you know how fast a year goes by until you have had a child! It is UNREAL! I feel like it was just yesterday he was just a baby that ate, pooped and slept... and that was it! Now he eats, poops, crawls, cruises, plays, gets into stuff, hugs, kisses, waves, talks, and everything in between. Oh and I need to mention that he has EIGHT teeth!
I can't wait to have another BABY, but I know we have to deal with what's going in our life now before we even think about it. But in all truths, I would love to get pregnant at the end of this year. It would make the kids alittle over 2 years apart. I would want to get pregnant around November or December and have a late summer baby.
Alright well I am going to attempt to put August down, he's getting alittle crazy and rubbing his eyes, a sure sign of tiredness!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Dear God...I NEED YOU.

So lately I have been SO indecisive it's driving me insane. I feel like it is a huge part of my stress. I do not know why I am like this, because I have never in my life felt this way. If I wanted something, or I had to make a decision I could do it in a heartbeat. Now it takes me a million heartbeats because I don't know what I should do!
I feel like it has gotten the best of me lately.
We are going through so many financial decisions and life changing decisions that I feel like everything I am doing I am going to regret or make the wrong choice.
I need God to show me the right path because I feel like whatever I do is wrong!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Do they have medicine for STRESS?

So the past couple days I have been on stress overload. I think it has made me sick, because since Friday I have felt like crap.
I am stressed about so many things.. mostly August's birthday party. It would be so much easier if our house wasn't small, or we had a backyard. Lisa offered her house, and I have also thought of parks...yet I feel like every time I have made a choice, it's the wrong one.. so really I haven't made up my mind yet! His party is in 27 days.. ahhh.
I am stressed about our house situation and money. The stress is always there, but lately it's been on overload maximum (haha).
I don't know what to do about this stress. I need a getaway, that's paid for!
What I need is a party planner for free, so I don't have to worry about all this. Can you tell I've never really planned a a real one. The guest list is like crazy. It's like 100 people. 1/2 family and 1/2 friends, and I have tried to slim it down but I can't.. I know not everyone will come, I can already remove like 30 people...
Ok well I need some food and to just get my mind clear!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

so sick of being fat.

So I used to think I was fat like 7 years ago, but 7 years ago I was only 140 pounds! Then I slowly gained weight.. and 7 years later, after having a baby I am now 185.5 pounds. I really hate looking at my flabby stomach, my big round face, my huge thighs.. so a few weeks ago I decided that I am really going to make a change.. and stick to it.
I want to be 140 again and feel skinny. I would actually like to be smaller than that, but I'll shoot for 140!
So I got this lose it app, which has helped so much. I have been trying to work out every day. Lately I have been doing Wii Fit for at least 30 minutes, and if I can get a walk in also then it's even better. Yesterday I walked with Lori for 80 minutes, and I felt great. I love walking, and I actually love getting off my butt and working out! I look forward to it, unlike before.
Also, I have been cutting my portions of food down. I still eat the same things, except all the fries whenever I'd go out, but I just don't eat as much. I look at how many calories are in everything. I can eat alittle over 1700 calories, and usually I am right on target everyday. I will go over maybe once a week, but not by much.
When I started I was 188 pounds. I think I have been doing it for about 3 weeks and I am now 185.5, which isn't bad.. since I gained a few pounds over superbowl weekend! If it wasn't for that, I would probably be alittle lighter!
Anyway.. I am just really glad that I found something I can stick too and doesn't totally change what I can and can't eat.
My goal is to be 170 pounds by June, which is a weight loss of 1 pound a week. I really think I can do it.
That's all. I am going to be a skinny bitch.. so watch out!

Thursday, January 28, 2010


Last night I decided that since I knew it was going to be nice out that I would walk to the grocery store to pick up my BC pills instead of driving! So this morning after August woke up and had his breakfast and I had my breakfast we went upstairs and I tired putting him down for a nap...not happening! So I put him on the bed with his paci, remote and pillows and turned on the boob tube to Yo Gabba Gabba.. he LOVES that show.
I took a really quick shower, got ready, got August stuff ready and then got him ready. We set out for our walk at 11:03. It started to get really hot! I put my small little cardigan over the stroller to shield the sun from August's face. He ended up falling asleep. We got to Matt's work 30 minutes later and then I went over to the grocery store to pick up my BC, some bandaids for my feet, some fish crackers for Augie, some new paci's and sippy cups. Then August and I went to TNT's and got a child's chocolate/vanilla yogurt. It was really good, and August ate more than half of it! Then Matt called and we decided to go to HANG OUT THAI CAFE.. it's really good and really cheap! We ate there and then hung out in the back of his truck. I really didn't want to walk back home because my feet were hurting so bad, but I did of course. So I got August a bottle and we headed back.. Took me about 25 minutes to get back home, took off my shoes when we got close to the house because my feet hurt so bad.
I feel so refreshed, and I think August really enjoyed it. He likes being outside and the past week with all that rain we didn't go outside!
Anyway.. that's my long story of my short walk!
I need to change a diaper...oh motherhood.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Blog it.

So I haven't blogged in awhile, I guess I don't have time...?
Well I don't even know what I blogged about last.
All I know is Friday we have an appointment that is going to change our life for the better.
We have alot going on right now and things are going to get better. I feel like the last few months so many doors have slammed in our face, and finally slowly new doors are opening, showing a light at the end of this dark tunnel we have been in.

August -
He has almost 8 teeth, and it's crazy. He isn't crawling or walking, but I think he will soon. He has been really cranky today and it's given me a headache.

I can't believe in 2 months he will be 1! We are doing a robot themed party, I am excited!